Posted: November 23rd, 2022

Revise Research Paper, health and medicine homework help

Question description

My paper came back with a few comments by instructor:Current tentative grade for this paper if it was turned in as a final draft: 100/150Need to continue to work on:1. Your intro paragraph: HOOK: your paper currently starts off super broad. Work to start with a concrete, interesting example instead (i.e. like a personal experience you have had in relation to your central issue).BACKGROUND: the mid-section of your intro needs to outline what scholars are debating in terms of your question --> the scholarly arguments on both sides. THESIS: the last sentence of your paper should be your question (what your paper is going to explore. 2. Context paragraph (body paragraph 1)This paragraph should only contain very specific context and definitional info (necessary to set-up your question). Right now it mainly covers very broad risks of smoking. Need to revise this paragraph to include more essential context info --> how many current smokers in the U.S.? how many of those are generational smokers? how many are traditional cigarette smokers? how many ecigs? 3.Topic sentences --> these are usually very broad. TSs are the mini-thesis statements of each paragraph (the central CLAIM to be presented in that paragraph) and therefore they need to be very specific and focused. 4. Evidence --> Many of the claims in your paper are supported with international data vs. numbers specific to the U.S. Need to replace this evidence with specific national data. Also, most of the claims in this paper are supported with very generalized summaries of research rather than specific concrete studies and evidence. Need to be more thorough with introducing and setting up evidence and providing more direct quotes, statistics, and source findings (rather than broad summaries of article arguments). 5. Paragraphs tend to make broad sweeping claims without specific evidence support and careful analysis. Need to revise your paragraphs so that they closely follow this format:Topic Sentence --> present a specific claim; transition from previous sentence (see handout on constructing topic sentences/transitions: Transitions handout.docx)Evidence --> introduce evidence to support the claim (evidence needs to be integrated carefully --> see the citation handout here: Sandwich Citations.pdf)Analysis --> evidence needs to be explained carefully in your own words AND then connected directly back to your central questionSummary/End --> end each paragraph with a brief summary sentence reviewing the main claim that the paragraph has illustrated. This sentence helps to wrap up the paragraph so that your paper can move on to the next point. 6. Your paper presents more of an argument vs. an exploration of your question. Need to integrate more "counter-argument" or opposing viewpoints into this paper. 7. Works Cited page needs to be alphabetized Use this example exploratory essay as a model for structure and paragraph construction: Sample Exploratory Paper.pdf ** Please help me revise to these comments she made.  Thank you! **research_pap.docresearch_pap.doc

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