maddie’s personal narritive

When you grow up you often don’t think about dying and certainly not ways to quicken your on death.I myself didnt grow up thinking that would be anything anyone would want I mean I was so afraid of dying as a child I needed my parents to check ever creak and crevice in my room and assure me the “monsters” where not going to hurt me.

Death is something a average person should fear not walk into .But sometimes genes has an unfortuneete way of hindering but also gifting the person.I personally have been diagnosed with being “bipoler”.Not as big of a problem as you would assume it to be or perhaps you dont belive in the condition itself ,but to me it was very much real and is still real.It lead me down a dark and scary and wildy uncontraloble turn of events and circumstances ,but i can say that every event in which I suffered I have learned greatly and cherished.

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I cherish one particuler action more then the rest because although it hurt me and took every last bit of me to get back up I may have just kept running around in a confused and depressed state . Although I never once thought that I would be taking pill after pill to cure something that I have yet to completely understand.Although One thing i can say is that It only makes me want to learn more about my condition and others like it.That and my life and my attitude has changed greatly its hard to believe that my personality is still there and that the pill only allow me more control of it.

This year has been a interesting one discoving my own potential as my emotions no longer disable me from being creative and more dedicated to my passions.Some people may say that I am crazy ,which to me is no insult at all but in encouragement because a lot of great people where not all the way there.In fact I believe that being emotionally or phisiclly ill makes an achivement all that more sattisfying.but I can say for a fact that being put in that position is not an easy task academicly sometimes its easy to be caught in a whirlwind of emotions and forget all about writing that essay and just giving up and taking that F .But now I dont ever plan on giving up I tried once before and I am lucky that it motivated me instead.It hurt me gradwise for sure and I know it will be harder for me to prove that I desearve a slot at a good school but I am still going to try.