Ilene

“Good Luck.” They giggled. I stared back, trying to grasp what the two CNAs I was working with meant. One shower. How hard can it be? I knew I was to help one of my residents. But I never expected her to show me what life is all about.

Ilene. One of our more “interesting” residents, who’s known for her swearing, head shakes, and spitting. I confidently strolled up to her as she relaxed in her chair. “Ilene, would you like to take a shower?”
“No!” she shrieked.
“Why not? It would feel good to have a nice shower before bed.”
“Go away.”
That was the only response I was going to get. I tried three more times. I offered to give her a back massage, to paint her nails and even to make a hot fudge sundae (I usually get them on the sundae every time). Nothing. Discouraged, I went back to the other CNA’s for insight.

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“You’re on your own for this one Lex, we have been working for years and still can’t get her to want to take a shower.”
Great.
I winced at asking her again. But it had to be done. I sat down next to her and held her hand. I began asking her questions – questions I had never had time to ask her before. We talked about her daughter, her past careers, and her favorite memories (mainly about her daughter – a dean!). I told her about my sister and showed her some pictures. I even told her the story of how I had a large bruise on my leg from when I slipped on the ice. It was the first time I heard her laugh.

I got her to take the shower. But I don’t consider that my reward. I discovered moments worth my time don’t come easy; they take effort, patience, and dedication. I could have given up and reported her refusal. But I would have missed getting to know her. She showed me life isn’t about having the answers, it’s about finding them.